Sometimes I feel like I read people too well. I wonder if I am projecting my expectations onto others, usually I give people the benefit of the doubt. But it doesn’t take long for my hunch to get proven right. First impressions are so important when dealing with people, and sometimes people prove you wrong, you think they’re one way and they turn out the complete opposite. However, till this day I have yet to have a bad feeling about someone and be proven wrong. And vice versa with a good feeling. Yes, sometimes little details like someone seeming selfish and turning out to be generous are trivial and nothing worth writing home about.

In the professional space I can tell someone sweet from somewhat opportunistic and self-centred. I thank my years of customer service work and door knocking to fix people’s internet, that taught me a lot about emotions, body language cues and people in general. It has been unnatural for me to be stern with others in the corporate space and halting disrespect and keeping my anxiety in check. But I couldn’t have been more prepared for the world of commercial construction and engineering. I have started to read people well and not give opportunities to others to prove me wrong or right, I stay in my lane, do what I am paid to do, up skill when I can and motivate myself.

I am grateful to have great co workers in my team and I wish them all the best, but I have realised I need to put myself at the centre of my career goals because others are clearly doing the same. There are no friends in business, I learnt that as a teen, but occasionally, a gem of a co worker comes along and shows you that among the cracks of the fast-paced CBD, flowers exist. Adult life is weird man. I cannot seem to decipher a lot to the point where I have internalised my quest for meaning.

Detachment is so important for that reason, and I am glad I embarked on that character arc early in 2023. It is such a brutal lesson to learn but it will make your work, sport and relationships more fulfilling. Don’t hold on too tight to stuff because they slip away. Flow around and eventually like a puzzle your life’s piece will shift into place. And the right people will find their way into your warm bubble you call life. Sometimes I have shitty experiences at work with certain people, but as harsh as it may sound, I don’t blame them, I see them for who they are. I would never act that way, and I am glad I have the self-awareness to check myself in the future when I am in a position of authority or have the capacity to mentor others.

There is still a lot of love in my heart, for the world and my friends and for sport and knowledge. I have realised recently that I enjoy my own company greatly, but the space is there in my life now for someone to tackle this journey with me. And the space is there for future friends and colleagues I have yet to meet. People I can learn from, and that can learn from me. It’s been an interesting year; I have rebuilt a lot of the pieces that I thought I’d lost or didn’t possess. It got to a point where I realised for so long my internal dialogue with myself was so bad, I was always constantly bashing myself. I was my own worst critic, a delusional perfectionist, a pessimist, I have stopped all of that, I take every day for what it is. And I have worked extremely hard the last few years. So, I deserve some semblance of peace and success.

. I look ahead and see a definitively bumpy road, but the journey looks good, and I am enjoying the ride, because the destination doesn’t matter. But I can say with certainty that I am so ready to have one of the best summers I have ever had in my life. Thanks to my winter arc, it is time to breath. It is time to calm down, reap what I’ve sown and enjoy the little things.

All the Best

H